Rookie 9 crack drabbles
by Yamimaru
Summary: See the title. This is the result of being awake at a point when I should have been asleep, late one night. It was probably very, very, early morning at that point though.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

AN: These are just a bunch of random thoughts I had, one for each member of the Rookie 9, or their family. Enjoy and R and R.

**Sasuke:** Few know just how many ways there are of successfully using genjutsu on a member of the Uchiha. The trick is to that you don't use a technique that affects a person via their eyes, you use one that goes through any of the four other senses. For example, if Sasuke had a sparring match with Tayuya where she put him under an incredibly complex genjutsu at eleven in the morning, then she could leave for lunch at eleven thirty, come back at one o'clock in the afternoon and he would still be trapped. It's also a little known fact that Itachi is the only Uchiha in history who has ever been able to dispel non-visual genjutsu.

**Sakura: **One of the many things that Sakura will probably never admit to anyone is that she is bisexual. The only reason she's figured this out is due to a wet dream that involved Kakashi, Naruto, Hinata, and Ino. They wondered why she couldn't look at them with a straight face for two weeks afterwards.

**Naruto:** One of the many things that Naruto doesn't know is that he actually does have some biological family left in Konohagakure no Sato, on his mother's side. Due to missions in the last 16 years, these remnants have been whittled down to just a few, with the only one that we've ever seen being Uzuki Yuugao. The main reason he doesn't know this is because the clan's remaining elders disowned him and changed the family name from Uzumaki to Uzuki on the day he was born. These elders were killed a week later, with a fair sized number of suspects that included Jiraiya, Rin, Naruto's mother's teammates from ANBU, Kakashi, and for a period of about five minutes the Sandaime Hokage and several members of his family. The culprit was never found and the case was dropped.

**Shino: **Aburame Shino is one of the only people who knows that it was none other than Tenten's parents that killed the Uzuki clan elders. The only reason he knows this is because his father told him two years ago. When he asked his father why they did it, the only response his father gave him was _"They felt they were repaying a large number of favors to an old friend who had passed away not too long before then, Naruto's father." _It was about a week later that Shino found out that his father, Tenten's parents and Rock Lee's mother were the Yondaime Hokage's old drinking buddies and then everything started making sense. Especially when he found out that the Yondaime would always foot the bill. The only time he's ever laughed as loud as he did then was during a mission he did with Naruto where Shino ingested a dose of a poison that makes the victim laugh.

**Hinata: ** The day Hinata found out that she had had a fiancé since before she was even born was the same day that Naruto found out who his father was. The two events are completely related. It was also the day that Naruto found that he had had a fiancé since before he was even born.

**Kiba: **Kiba was the first member of the Rookie 9 to lose his virginity. This is strange as he is also the one who is turned down the most. Usually with a very hard slap or pepper spray. The closest he's ever come from dying due to this was when he hit on Temari. To this day he shudders whenever Gaara, Kankuro, or Temari's name is mentioned, but he has yet to realize why Shikamaru keeps giving him the evil eye.

**Shikamaru:** What Kiba fails to realize is that when he drunkenly hit on Temari, she was on a date with Shikamaru. Said genius is currently plotting ways to kill him in his sleep.

**Ino:** An extremely little known fact is that Ino is bisexual. She is also as perverted as Jiraiya, but a hell of a lot sneakier. To this day, no one has ever found the cameras she's planted in the mens and womens sections of several bath houses, or the ones in the ANBU locker rooms. She's also on her way to becoming rich due to the amount of porn she's written.

**Chouji:** A fact that no one even suspects is that Chouji knows all of this, but he thinks that watching the soap opera that is Konohagakure no Sato is more fun then being one of the more active roles.

AN number 2: Sasuke's is based off of something I figured out weeks ago. Ino's, Shikamaru's, and Chouji's are pure crack. Naruto's and Shino's are based off of one of the oneshots in The Sh33p's _Catch 22._ Kiba's is also based off of a oneshot in _Catch 22, _mixed with some crack. Hinata's is based off of the bit of NaruHina supporter in me. Sakura's and Ino's are pure crack. Just don't ask why I wrote this.


End file.
